My entry to the yoga world began as an act of defiance. Through most of my twenties, I was living in Philadelphia, clinging to a toxic relationship. My then-boyfriend and I were miserable together a good chunk of the time, and he was wildly unfaithful, but I loved him, and I believed in our potential as a couple.

Through a business deal, he landed himself a free lifetime membership at a power yoga studio, and began practicing regularly. I’d never taken a class and was interested, but when I asked to join him, he told me the studio was his sacred space and he didn’t want me there. Luckily, my gym offered classes with great local teachers, so I went on my own. 

From pretty much the first class, I was hooked. And I began to value my time in class over my time with my ex. For the first time, I realized I could make a decision to go practice whether or not he was okay with it. Soon I traded in my gym membership for unlimited classes at a nearby studio, and while my ex’s practice floundered (along with the affair he turned out to be having with one of the teachers), mine flourished.

After just a year and a half of practicing yoga, I met my teacher, and knew I wanted to study with her. She was based in Los Angeles, but was offering a month-long intensive 200-hour teacher training in Philly that upcoming summer. My ex fought me on it the whole way. He told me I wasn’t ready, wasn’t right for it, was wasting my time and money. But my yoga practice had woken up that little voice inside me that knew what I needed, and I stood my ground. 

That July I spent every weekday training at the studio from 9-6, then worked my longtime bar job Friday, Saturday and Sunday to cover the bills. Every night I’d come home excited to share what I’d learned, and my ex would brush me off, open a bag of potato chips and pass out in front of the TV.

As I dug through the layers of my physical body, the mental and emotional cobwebs began to fall away. Yoga with the right teacher, under the right circumstances, is a process of tapas - Sanskrit for the burning of impurities. As the body becomes cleaner through the discipline of practice, the heart and mind clear as well. I began to wake up to the pattern I was living out in my romances. My childhood with an alcoholic parent had contributed to my chronic low self-esteem and fear of abandonment, which kept me dependent on and enabling my addicted, emotionally stunted partners. 

 The most valuable lesson I learned that month was that I wanted and deserved better. Not only was my ex a controlling, emotionally abusive sex addict…but he was also kind of lame. He was stingy and mean, physically unhealthy and completely uninterested in the things I valued. We had next to nothing in common. We loved each other in the way that damaged people do, but I was finally able to see for the first time what I wanted. What was important to me. And he didn’t share any of those qualities. It was time to break the cycle.

 Within two weeks of finishing my training, I moved out. I began teaching at the gym where I took my first class, and then the studio where I took the training. My ex and I stayed in contact for a month or two, and then I cut the cord. I was finally able to look him in the eye and tell him I didn’t want to be with him - something I’d never been able to accomplish in any of my unhappy relationships.

Through all of this turmoil, my father was suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. I’d kept my distance from my parents for years, living on the East Coast and making excuses for why I couldn’t come home to California for regular visits. I was ashamed of my own life, my perceived failure to live out the career path expected of me. And I didn’t want to see my father’s mind and body fail. But as I devoted more of my life to studying and teaching yoga, I realized that I could not encourage my students to live their most authentic lives if I wasn’t living mine. In June of 2014, my new partner and I sold most of our things, packed the rest into a U-Haul trailer and drove with our dogs from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. 

In a lot of ways, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I made a conscious decision to cut my safety net and walk directly into my fears - of watching my dad die, of being unsuccessful in my chosen career, of losing the friends I’d finally learned how to trust and love. But it was also the most liberating. I got to sit with my father every day in the week he finally slipped away and tell him how much I loved and appreciated him. My mother and I began a new, honest, supportive relationship. I’ve been hired into my dream jobs teaching yoga at the best companies in LA. I’ve integrated myself into a new community of creative, loving humans. And my partner and I have seen real, tangible growth as a couple and as independent beings.

In the last two years, I’ve moved cross-country, turned 30, completed my 300-hour teacher training, lost my dad, left the restaurant industry after a decade to teach full-time, seen countless beautiful new places, and learned how to take care of my body and my spirit. And every day I’m able to share what I’ve learned with dozens of yogis of all ages, abilities and backgrounds. And if I can inspire just one person a day to try something new, to tell a fear to go fuck itself, to forgive herself or someone else, to love just a little more openly, to be a little kinder to others or to the planet, to seek a higher truth…then I’ve done my dharma, my duty.

We want to share more with you! Click below.

Sending love, luck & calm vibes.