The woman I am today stands stronger, more secure, confident, encouraged and much wiser because of my Well Wisher. I juggle the title of wife, mother, stepmother, grandmother, sister, and daughter on top of being the Administrator of a Microbiology Laboratory, co-master to Ashley (our 70 lb. Labrador Retriever), second “Mother” to a large number of college students and last but definitely not least, a passionate fan and follower of the Green Bay Packers. I love my God and our sweet little country church where we choose to serve and fellowship. I love being in the kitchen with my husband. I could be labelled a coffee snob. Who am I kidding... I am as coffee snob. I enjoy a good glass of wine and every season I look forward to the arrival of the new Beaujolais. I am an explorer. I cherish our “adventure” days when we just take off driving and have no destination in mind. Most of the time we end up near water, old cemeteries or areas with lots of hills. I love hiking and exploring God’s masterpiece. I’m a huge history chaser. I am currently studying the Bankhead Highway (the first U.S all-weather cross country highway). I am mesmerized by weather patterns and have hundreds of pictures of cloud formations. I’m also a work-a-holic but I’m trying to change that. It’s an action packed life I live, but I wouldn’t trade it.
My story actually began in 1957 but the realization of all that my life stands for came just 6 short years ago. HONEY was my Well Wisher and I’d like for you to get to know her. HONEY was a farm girl. She was just a child when her mother died giving birth. She never remembered much about her. I’ve seen pictures and she was beautiful. HONEY was raised in the country (by today’s standards) in what would be considered a little country cabin. It still stands and I still make the trek there now and then. There is something about standing on the edge of that gravel road, looking off in to the massive field where it stands that renews my soul. I picture her, running free in the cotton fields with her 14 siblings by her side. Sleeping 5 to a double bed with an outhouse for relief. Chasing chickens by day, gathered on the front porch playing music by moonlight, life was different then, but it was good. This life made her extremely strong, both physically and mentally. “I can’t”, “I won’t” and “that’s impossible” were not in her vocabulary. Struggles didn’t define her, divorce didn’t break her (though it came close), and disease never slowed her down. They all made her STRONGER. She was the living, breathing definition of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I loved her strength. I Corinthians 16:13
HONEY was beautiful. Tall, sleek, very fashionable and she was known to have big hair, short hair, bleach blonde hair (that sometimes ended up orange or green) and every color in between. Shoes and jewelry that matched every outfit. Some exquisite, some $ store gems, she never cared. She was a self-made woman. If she liked it, she wore it. One of my favorite qualities was her boldness. She was bold beyond measure and you knew it the minute you met her. Everyone was welcome in HER SPACE. I loved her space. Psalms 138:3
HONEY was a chef-quality cook. I was blessed to be able to join her every year to bake, mix, stir and roll out every kind of Christmas candy, chocolate bar, cookie or fudge you could imagine. Together we spent days making hundreds of pounds of pure heavenly delight just so we could spend another few days wrapping it all up to share with others. I will say……I more than mastered everything but the divinity. I don’t know if she loved cooking as much as she loved lighting up someone’s world by sharing something she made. I loved being in the kitchen with her. I Corinthians 10:31
HONEY was a listener. She was a giver and never ever a taker. She had an opinion but yours mattered greatly. She had the ears of many, as she could listen to you for hours. Not many people in this world are good listeners today. I’m not. I like to talk. I loved how she would listen to me, never taking her eyes off of me. She was so totally in tune to me (or anyone) when they were with her. I loved her listening ear. James 1:19
HONEY was a dreamer. She insisted that everyone should want more out of life than mere existence. She never accepted status quo. She pushed everyone in her circle of influence to plan out life, set simple, smart, attainable goals but also big, crazy, and audacious ones. She believed we are all meant to “step out” beyond our imposed world boundaries and find our calling. She is the reason my Bucket List is a bit unique:
Drive the U.S. (coast to coast) with my hubby
Attend the Final 4 Basketball Tournament (my husband and I live for March Madness)
Live in Green Bay, Wisconsin and own a little corner bakery
Attend a Packers game at Lambeau Field in the snow
Open a Resale Clothing store
Paint the landscape in Palo Duro Canyon
Visit every winery in Texas
Her encouraging life lessons grew within me an unquenchable desire to learn and keep learning. I still cannot get enough knowledge and there is so much out there that it makes every day that much more exciting and unique. I loved her wisdom. Proverbs 31:26
HONEY was a virtuous woman. God was always first in her life but immediately next in line was her husband, children and grandchildren. She was always available to serve, encourage and truly love anyone that crossed her path. Her favorite times were when everyone was visiting at the same time and her home was overflowing with heartstrings. At Christmas, in the midst of the hustle and bustle she would gather everyone together and share thankful moments or read the Christmas story from her worn, well-read Bible. In her last days I remember reading verses from that same Bible to sooth her. Though in terminal condition and unable to speak, hearing scriptures always made her smile. I loved her virtue. Proverbs 31:10
HONEY still stands as the most devoted Christian prayer warrior that I have ever known. It didn’t matter if she’d known you all of her life or if she had just met you, if you had a need, she would stop and intercede in prayer for you. The reoccurring tributes from doctors, nurses, attorneys, children, bikers, preachers and even ex-convicts in the days after she passed were all the same. She was “my prayer partner”, “she prayed me through a tragedy”, “she got me through a rough time”, “she purchased my wedding dress because I had no money or family to help me when I married”, “she fed my family when we were out of work”. She saw no color, no race, no status. She saw everyone as God’s children. Her faith in God was unwavering, it flowed deep and it manifested itself in her actions, her love, her caring spirit and her devotion to her family, her desire to see each of her children happy in the life and choices they made for themselves. I loved how she had mastered selflessness. Everything in her life was about others. I loved her compassion and her dedication to prayer. II Corinthians 1:3-4, Romans 12:11-12
I loved a lot about HONEY. HONEY was my first Well Wisher. And, you’ve probably surmised by now that HONEY was not only my Well Wisher, she was also my Mother. I am highly honored to be her daughter.
I still remember the morning she left us. She had been on a ventilator for months with no prognosis of healing. Her body (after 15 years of fighting emphysema) was failing her. Together, we had planned (at the doctor’s final advice) to spend that following Sunday with her as a family, it was Mother’s Day. And, the following Monday we would remove all life support. The hardest decision any of us has ever had to make. However, that strong, beautiful, wise, virtuous, compassionate, listening prayer warrior decided that she, once again, was in charge. She didn’t want any of us to have to walk through the anguish of “turning off her life”. So, on May 7, 2009 she went to sleep. Just writing this reminds me that a piece of my heart is still missing. It went with her that day. That missing piece still hurts but it is my lifeline to the one woman God chose to be my first Well Wisher.
In the days that followed, we would all gather together and talk about the legacy she left with us. I very quickly began seeing her legacy manifesting itself in my daily life. It’s hard to put into words but it was as if a seed had been sewn inside of me at birth that was just waiting for this moment to spring forth. Her legacy was blooming within me and I could actually feel it. With each new day I realized that I was now carrying forward all that she so graciously deposited in me. I am forever connected to her through her legacy. Those attributes she carried through her life continue to grow within me so that I can share them with others.
HONEY left a legacy not only of deep, deep love for God and her family but also a pathway for all of us to follow that was filled with laughter, strength, charisma, class, tenacity and will. She molded my life until the day she took her last breath but most significantly the legacy she left continues to creatively “draw” the woman I am evolving into daily. I miss her terribly but I smile because the “woman” that she was continues to lead the “woman” that I am. The seed grows a little more every day.
Legacy is an interesting enigma. Intertwining within us at birth, it begins. The actions, the moments, the occasions, the beliefs, the bonds that are woven, and the words that are spoken... yes, just a word can be the beginning of a legacy that carries from generation to generation. May our actions be examples. May our moments be meaningful. May our occasions be memorable. May our beliefs be steadfast. May our bonds be solid and most of all, may we always, through the words we speak, be “well-wishers”.
A huge shout out to the gals that make this platform possible! It’s not that these thoughts and feelings about my mother are new but I will say that since Her Well Wisher came to life... just the words “Well Wisher” have truly inspired me to view my mother’s legacy in a whole new light. It is because of the many life lessons HONEY poured into me that I am able to do life with passion and great expectation. Life is more than a boring square box of instructions. It is a gift and as we loosen the ribbon and untie the bow, the blessings of life and family abound. I praise God every day that I am able to do life with the most amazing husband, and that I have a daughter, a son-in-law, 2 grandsons and 2 stepdaughters that bless my existence beyond measure. I breathe for them. I live for them.
In closing, as I mull over the words I have put to print, I ask myself, is there anything I would change or do over? Sure, we all have those “things” but HONEY also taught me that every moment, every step in my life will be radically molding me into the person I will continue to become. I do my best to never look back, regret, or cry over spilled milk. I do; however, stop in those tough moments to take notes. What’s God showing me? What’s He teaching me? Life is a classroom. Let’s not waste the teacher’s time. I couldn’t want any more out of this life than to be busy building a legacy that will shine for generations to come.
I hope my story empowers you to look deep within yourself, find the seed that was planted and harvest it. Open up the chapters of your living legacy.
God bless you.
Sherry
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